Grateful!

       I am SOOO grateful that I have my little boy.  I have never not been grateful. I have just been struck this week, by the fragility of life.  I have also been keenly aware of the unfairness of things that happen in this life as well.  On Sunday of last week, a friend of mine lost her 7 day old boy.  He was born perfectly healthy, and went home with his mom, dad, and big sister.  About a week later after an aggressive virus attacked his body, he was gone.  By the time his parents realized that he was terribly ill, it was too late. His mother wrote him a letter and as I read how she wished she had kissed him one last time before they took him away to try and save his life, or how she held his hand to try and keep it warm, only to feel it grow colder after he was gone, I wept.  I can not claim that we were close friends, but as a woman, a mother and a fellow human being, my heart broke for her and her family.  When I first read of their loss, I had to get up and kiss and hold my little son.  We so often take for granted the lives of our children and ourselves. Medical science has developed so far, that it is easy to forget how fragile we really are.  We are truly complex, and beautifully, wonderfully made!

       Is there some purpose in an infants death? I hope so.  The Lord knows all things, but it is truly hard to see his grand design in something like this.  Why do bad things happen to good people? As I never met her husband, I can only speak about her.  She was always very sweet. In the kind of church I grew up in, someone like her was somewhat of a rarity, in my opinion.  Why would God take her son, but allow someone like, say Osama bin Laden keep his?  I pray for her daily, as I try to comprehend her and family's grief.  People say "oh, he's safe in the arms of Jesus", and while I believe that he is, I think that in some ways, that could be one of the worst things you could say to a mother who has lost her baby.  That may come as a comfort later, but at this moment, all she wants is for her baby to be safe in HER arms.
       O.k., I will get off my soapbox now and quit preaching.  I just pray that she finds a measure of comfort and peace soon.  It is all one can pray for!

       I feel so lucky that I got to pick my smiling baby up from his crib this morning. I don't think I will ever take a morning with my son for granted.  I love him with all my heart and even though I remember to thank my Jesus for him every day, I will never go a day without telling him how much I love him!!

      Helo, my son, my heart, mommy loves you more than you will ever know or comprehend till you have a child of your own!!!

   

My baby is growing up!!!!

       I know all you moms out there are gonna wag your finger at me, but I don't care!! We have started putting Helo into a crib to sleep (for naps anyway).  It makes me a bit sad! For his entire existence from conception till now, almost 8 months later, he has never been more than an arms reach from me.  He co-slept with me for his first 8 weeks of life, and now he sleeps in a nap nanny right next to my bed!
While it is time for him to start sleeping on his own, the fact that he is already starting to not need me makes me picture him walking into kindergarten on his first day, and not even looking back!

        My husband laughs at me, and tells our son, "Look, you're making mommy cry!" To which I respond "SO WHAT"! I love that he is getting bigger and growing. I would not want an infant forever, but the fact that it is happening so fast makes me a bit weepy.  I could not be prouder of him it I tried!  My husband is ready for baby number 2....NOT ME!!! I want some time to love on my little booger before I have to divide my time! Plus, I am too tired right now! I could not imagine having 2 babies! I suppose once Bubbin is sleeping in his crib all night, and he is starting to walk, that is when I will be ready to start trying for number 2.  Or the end of the year, whichever comes first!!

        Oh angel boy, you are my heart. You carry a piece of it with you and always will, wherever you go and whatever you do in this life! I love you baby!!

So it's been a minute.....

       Hello all!!!  Can I just say that I can't WAIT for spring? My little bubbin is getting so big, and I am excited to show him the world.  He is starting to babble a lot now. I imagine him saying momma, even though he is just making the sounds.....I really want to introduce him to all the things that come with spring. Flowers, birds, trees growing leaves.  In general, I want to take him outside into the fresh air. 

       Around these parts the last few days, we have been getting 70+ degree temps, and I love it! It allows me to dress my son and go for walks. It also seems to improve everyone's attitudes for the better! My dogs can't love it more either! Poor Mirko! He can't wait to play frisbee with dad!

All my love guys!!! LONG LIVE SPRING!!

The importance of having a great partner!

      Helo, I am writing this because I want you to know what a great daddy you have.  He has wanted you since before you were conceived, and has loved you from the moment he saw you.  Even though he can't wait for you to be old enough to play board games with him, (he is already planning for it), he loved spending time with you.  One of his favorite things to do with you is "baby p.t.".  Which is code for teaching you to sit and crawl.  Your daddy takes such pride and joy in each of your new developments.  He can't say enough how cool he thinks you are!

       Mommy thinks daddy is cool because he helps her out so much. The other day when you were sick, daddy came home and let mommy nap even though he had worked 12 hours that day.  The next day, on his first day off. He got up with you and let mommy sleep in as late as she needed too.

       The first thing daddy wants to do when he comes home from work is to see you and hold you!  Not every daddy out there wants to do that!  It is one of the things that I love the most about him.  It reminds me of your Grandpa Waltho.  MY daddy was the same way.  I always knew I was loved and was important to him.  Your daddy will do the same for you.

       I could not do it without your dad.  He helps out with you and things around the house on his days off, even though he could just tell me he wants to do nothing.  Having your daddy has allowed your mommy to have someone she can rely on all the time.  He looks out for you in other ways too. It might seem a bit germaphobic, but he makes sure his hands are always clean and wherever you touch is clean as well.  He is always looking for new toys that will entertain and teach you.  Mommy has a list as long as her arm of toys he has researched and would like you to have!

       Anyway, I just wanted you to know how important daddy is to you and to mommy.  Daddy loves you very much Bubbin. You will learn this as you grow older and I hope you appreciate it!! Love you little boy!

Love,
Mommy

Sick Babies

       Yesterday I had the pleasure, enviable task of looking after a sick 7 month old.  Daddy is working 12s all this weekend, (4am-4pm), and of course this is the time Helo gets sick. I mean REALLY sick.  Heaving and throwing up anything put in his little belly about 30 seconds after it got there. 

       It was a long day for mommy and for Helo.  The morning started out fine. Helo got up and had his first bottle while watching an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.  About 2 1/2 hours later, while wrapping him up for his morning nap, there was suddenly formula everywhere, and he was choking on more.  I thought I had wrapped him too tight!  I quickly grabbed him up and laid him on his side in the pack n' play, while I ran a warm sink bath for him. I put him in the sink to get him cleaned up and he promptly fell asleep. I took him out and put a diaper on him and no sooner did I get him wrapped in a clean towel did he wake up and start heaving again.  He is good at warning though! He would cry for a little bit, then start heaving, so I had plenty of time to get to the sink.  In true Helo fashion, he was his happy little self right after puking! All that wore him out however and he slept in my arms for about 2 hours.

       After about 3 rounds of puking his bottle, I called to Dr. because I wanted to keep him hydrated without giving him formula or juice.  I ended up calling daddy at work and asking him to go to the store to get some pedialyte.  Daddy was very sweet and bought 2 flavors.  We tried some pedialyte, but even that was not going to stay down.  Three towels, two sink baths and several minutes each time at the sink later, I stopped even giving him that.

      It was broke my heart to see his sad little face looking up at me from his side while laying over the sink.  He cried a little and just looked at me as if to ask what was going on and when would it stop.  All I could do was tell him it would be ok and put a cold washcloth on his neck and head.  Bubbin ended up spending most of the day wrapped in a towel, sleeping in my arms. 

       He ended up keeping only about 8oz of fluid down all day, which kept him awake all night......mommy too.  Today is better! He has gotten over whatever it was that was bothering him.  He is eating normally and keeping everything down.  Poor kid! Mommy isn't 23 anymore! I can't stay up most of the night before and have endless energy the next day!  Thanks DJ Lance and the Yo Gabba friends!!